When I vote, I vote democratic
Sometimes further left like peace and freedom,
Or even libertarian
I'm pro-choice, pro-environment
Against large corporations and the neutron bomb
But when I'm stuck on the freeway
And it's hot and someone cuts me off
I think they oughta fry that son of a bitch
It's the fascist in me
Learn to speak English, get a job, get a life
It's the fascist in me
Get rid of that smell, go back where you came from
It's the fascist in me
You're a burden, you're a drain on the economy
It's the fascist in me
It's so distasteful going to the grocery store
For some Haagen Daaz on a Saturday
When you have to pass this vermin
I given to seven charities
I've played five different benefits
In the past month
My bumper stickers say:
Save the whales, visualize peace, NPR
But when someone's rude in a restaurant
I'd like to make them look at the barrel of a gun
And then we'll see how smug they are
It's the fascist in me
Wish I had the power to seize your house
It's the fascist in me
Wish I had the authority to take your tongue
It's the fascist in me
I'd run you naked through the middle of the town
It's the fascist in me
You'd live in fear knowing every creak of the floorboards,
Knock on the door, cry in the dark of night, could be your last
Sometimes I just want ? At the world and decree that they all go away
Everyone's stupid and no one has anything very insightful to say
It's the price you have to pay
I'm tired of it today
I'd like another way
It's the fascist in me
Wear some normal clothes, don't have so many children,
Learn to speak English, get a job, get a life
Where'd you get that car?
Which drugs did you sell?
How'd you get that job?
Which quota did you fill?
I'd like plant my fist in your face
Don't talk so loud
Don't walk so slow
If you just disappeared, no one would care
No one would care if you just disappeared
Your mother oughta be down on her knees
Cleaning up my kitchen
It's the fascist in me
It's the fascist in me
It's the fascist in na na na na
It's the fascist in me
Learn to speak English, get a job, get a life
It's the fascist in me

TOP

Charles Bukowski never puked on my lawn
Charles Bukowski never peed on my porch
In his underwear
I just know him from his poems
I just know him from his stories
So I like him very much

Charles Bukowski never drank all my beer
At three in the morning
Charles Bukowski never made rude suggestions to my sister
I just know him from his poems
I just know him from his stories
So I like him very much

If I'd have know him and he'd have done terrible things to me
Then probably I wouldn't like him
But I like him very much

Charles Bukowski never tired to screw my mother against her wishes
Charles Bukowski never stole my car and crashed it and left it running
I just know him from his poems,
I just know him from his stories
so I like him very much

If I had known him and he'd have got drunk and kicked me in the balls
Then I wouldn't like that
But I like him very much, I like him very much

TOP

Six in the morning in my room at the Cecil
$94.50 a week stretches me out a little
Six in the morning, it's dope and a magnum
It's borrow me two bucks so I can get to work again

I'm having a party tonight
I'm having a party tonight
I'm having a party tonight
Party by myself

Lunch wagon left, I stayed at my desk
I said I wasn't hungry, nobody questioned me
I bought three 40 ounce magnums and the cigarettes I craved all day
And I visit my dope man at Sixth and Broadway

I'm having a party tonight
I'm having a party tonight
I'm having a party tonight
Party by myself

Lock the door
The word could get around
I got beer and cigarettes
I got a ninth floor view of Main Street
And a working TV set

Six in the evening in my room at the Cecil
Captain Kirk don't care about my breath or about my bloodshot eyes
My beer is my friend and my rock is my friend
And my friends are why I'm getting up tomorrow again

I'm having a party tonight
I'm having a party tonight
I'm having a party tonight
Party by myself
Party by myself
Party by myself

If his knees hadn't got sick
He'd have made the big leagues just like his hero the mick
He wore a number seven on his back like the mick
But his knees got sick
So he had to quit
He had the quickness he had the size
He could hit a ball further than johnny mize
He was blond on top
But his knees went pop
So he had to stop
Had to give it up

(chorus)
If you get thrown out of the game and get sent on your way
You can be back the very next day
After having having had your say
But that's on a field of nine
Which is not ruled by time
And it don't work out so fine
On this side of the white lines
On this side of the white lines

If his dad hadn't got sick
They'd have argued nights over their world series picks
Who's better than the yanks who's better than the mick
He was tough as a brick
But he still got sick
They were close as a father and son could be
Close as the surgeon is to the knee
He waited for his dad to make his climb
But he wasn't gonna get better
Not this not this time
(chorus)

He plays softball now when he's got the time
When he ain't to beat and the knees feel fine
He ain't forgotten how to swing that stick
He says to himself 'just like the mick'
Ty Cobb never got to face dizzy dean
Joe Jackson's best was never ever seen
He held a private funeral mass
All alone in the park by the outfield grass
(chorus)

He walked by me slow but firmly
I knew he wouldn't stop to chat
But I thought that I might help him
He shook his head and touched his hat

He said "I've come to see The Babe
They say Babe Ruth is dyin'
I've come to lift his spirit
Just like he once lifted mine
I can't promise any homers
I'm no sultan of swat
But I'll be up there swingin'
With everything I got"

Years ago I lay in bed
My life hung like a rope
My sickly frame was wracked with pain
They said there was no hope

But the big guy would have none of that
He just sneered at tragedy
He hit four home runs that series
And each one was for me

Thanks to those arcing wallops [?]
My wretched body healed
Thanks to the greatest player
That ever took the field

And as he stood above me
My eyes alert but dim
I never thought that someday
I'd be staring down at him

And I've come to see The Babe
They say Babe Ruth is dyin'
I've come to lift his spirits
Just like he once lifted mine
I can't promise any homers
I'm no sultan of swat
But I'll be up there swingin'
With everything I got

Before there was Paul Bunyon
Before All Honors Day [?]
Before there was John Henry
There always was The Babe

He took a hundred million spirits
And said "Dare to be a lamb" [?]
He took one dying child
And said "Stand up and be a man"

And I've come to see The Babe
They say Babe Ruth is dyin'
I've come to lift his spirits
Just like he once lifted mine
I can't promise any homers
I'm no sultan of swat
But I'll be up there swingin'
With everything I got

Evan throws the hard ball for his high school club
83 miles an hour on the radar gun
His coach says "Get it up to 90, kid, in a year or two,
and scouts in the major leagues will come looking for you."

And it's seven miles an hour
Seven miles an hour
Seven miles an hour from easy street
Seven miles an hour
Seven miles an hour
Seven miles an hour from easy street

His momma said "This playing ball is too uncertain, son.
Go to college, get an education like we'd done."
His dad says "Son, the junkyard is littered with the arms
of high school pitchers who threw 83 down on the farm."

And it's seven miles an hour
Seven miles an hour
Seven miles an hour from easy street

I remember when they came looking to Jenkins
I thought for sure he'd get in
But Jenkins never had what this kid has
He can tell by the way he holds his chin

And it's seven miles an hour
Seven miles an hour
Seven miles an hour from easy street
Seven miles an hour
Seven miles an hour
Seven miles an hour from easy street

SEVEN MILES AN HOUR

They got a million cafes just dripping with class
Cars that run for days on a gallon of gas
Six willing dames for each uptight lass
They got the beck and call, they got it all
But they don't got, don't got, don't, don't,, don't got baseball

I'll trade you Rockefeller Center
For one square inch of the Champs Elysee
Sophia Lauren looks okay
But they can keep her
We got Wrigley and Fenway

They got Monte Carlo and Le Mans
Greek goddesses and Swedish blondes
They got the training ground for Mafia dons
It's like they got it all, even the Berlin Wall
But they don't got, don't got, don't, don't, don't got baseball

They got Bridget Bardot
We got Bernie Carboe
They got the Ferrari
We got Harry Caray
They got the croissant
We got too much starch
They got the Eiffel Tower
We got the golden arch
But that first warm day at the end of March
Remember they don't got, don't got, don't, don't, don't got baseball

Holy cow
Play ball

TOP

see "Dan Bern" CD

So sad, so sad, the news that come our way this morning
Like a bad, bad dream, a dream you never even speak of
In school, a school, a place where they send our precious children
And the one place of innocence the world might ever let them know
And barely aware of the odds against existence in the first place
Of love and fertility, of risk of a baby being born
And of clothes and food and fear and maybe relocation
Of sickness, recovery, of music lessons, painting the garage
And lingering over eggs and thoughts and sleepy conversations
And plans for the weekend, and one last pause to pet the dog
And glance at the clock and grabbing of the sandwich and a notebook
Confident of nothing but the unbroken days they've been granted

But comes a child, a child so full of anger and hatred
Barely aware of the genesis coursing through his veins
With a gun, a gun, deaf and blind deliverer of madness
Skilled beyond his own unformulated brain
And with his hand in a fist, and his soul in a knot and his heart racing
And his mind sick with images, his slim shoulders finally feeling tall
And his fellow creatures, students in their crushes and their daydreams
Struggling to unwrap the ancient secrets of geometry
He pulls from his coat the instrument to shatter all forevers
In a random blaze of insides and blood and endless now
And noise and flash and more and not even when it's over
Can any so much as summon up the sanity to scream
And on the floor his classmates blown down, and choking
As he lays his weapon on his desk, partly sure he isn't dreaming

And all the world descends and offers up their condolence
And offers up their theories of what went wrong and who and why and when and how
And it's all the killing day and night on television
It's all the movies where violence is as natural as breathing
It's guns and bullets as easily obtainable as candy
It's video games where you kill and begin to think it's real
It's people not having God in their lives anymore
Or it's all of it, or none of it, or some of it, in various combinations
And all those theories, they sound pretty reasonable I guess
Though I ain't no scientist, I ain't no dissector of statistics
I ain't no theologist, I ain't no psychologist or biologist
All I do is offer up a prayer of my own

Talk to your kids, play with your kids
Tell 'em your dreams, and your disappointments
Listen with your kids, and listen to your kids
Watch your kids, and let your kids watch you
Tell your kids the truth, as best as you can tell it
No use telling lies, your kids can always smell it
Cook for your kids, have your kids cook for you
Sing with your kids, teach your kids the blues
Learn their games, teach them yours
Touch your kids, find out what they know
Be sad with your kids, be stupid with your kids
Laugh with your kids, cry with your kids
Be yourself with your kids , be real with your kids
Embarrass your kids, let them embarrass you
Be strong with your kids, be tough with your kids
Be firm with your kids, say no to your kids,
Say yes to your kids, take it easy on your kids
You were a kid not so long ago
There's things you know, your kids will never know
There's places they live where you will never go
So dance with your kids, paint with your kids
Walk with your kids, tell stories to your kids
One day your kids, won't be kids
Maybe they'll have kids of their own
Lets hope they talk to their kids
Play with their kids
Tell 'em their dreams
And their disappointments

Sometimes I think about it when I'm all alone
When I'm walking around home and I can't sleep
And I'm walking around and nothing going right
And I can't keep the dog home at night

It was a gray afternoon at the Polo Grounds
Merkle should have touched second base
Tie game, two out, bottom of the ninth
Merkle should have touched second base

The Cubs in the field and the Giants at the plate
Merkle should have touched second base
A Giant on third and Merkle on first
Merkle should have touched second base

Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing
Don't leave, don't leave nothing to chance
Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing
Don't leave, don't leave nothing to chance

With a Giant on first, there's a single up the middle
Merkle should have touched second base
The Giant on third brings the winning run home
Merkle should have touched second base

Merkle on first starts trotting up to second
Merkle should have touched second base
But he pulls up short and he runs off the field
Merkle should have touched second base

Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing
Don't leave, don't leave nothing to chance
Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing
Don't leave, don't leave nothing to chance

Frank Chance is the peerless leader of the Cubs
Merkle should have touched second base
He calls with the ball and he steps on the bag
Merkle should have touched second base

The ump yells, "You're out" and he takes the run away
Merkle should have touched second base
They play extra innings and Chicago win
Merkle should have touched second base

Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing
Don't leave, don't leave nothing to chance
Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing
Don't leave, don't leave nothing to chance

Well the year is tied between the Giants and the Cubs
Merkle should have touched second base
They played one game with the season on the line
Merkle should have touched second base

Chicago wins, Merkle doesn't even play
Merkle should have touched second base
And all he hears till the end of his days is
Merkle should have touched second base

Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing
Don't leave, don't leave nothing to chance
Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing
Don't leave, don't leave nothing to chance

Sometimes I think about him when I'm all alone
Merkle should have touched second base
And I want to go home and I just can't sleep
Merkle should have touched second base

When I can't think and I just can't hide
Merkle should have touched second base
And I can't keep the dark alone at night
Merkle should have touched second base

Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing

Hitler would have never invaded Poland
Merkle should have touched second base
Monica Lewinsky would have married Dan Quayle
Merkle should have touched second base

My mother and my dad would have raised me as a wolf
Merkle should have touched second base
Godot would have showed up in the second act
Merkle should have touched second base

Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing
Don't leave, don't leave nothing to chance
Gotta go the whole way, make it a sure thing
Don't leave, don't leave nothing to chance

The record company guy sat me down and said
We really need a hit from you, you know
But ore than that, what I want to say is
This, no more songs about Van Gogh

So I sat and I worked and I worked and I sat
And then I went in and said "I got it"
And played twenty songs about Picasso
Eighteen songs about Matisse
Sixteen songs about my brand new easel
One song about flying geese

"Flying geese," he said, "I like that
What's this about flying geese?"
"I guess," I said, "They were flying overhead
And it frees us from the painting motif

"It does," he said, "lets run with it
We'll call your next record " Flying Geese"
It's set for spring
But I'll pull a couple strings
For an early Canadian release"

And our mix, were mastered, we were excited
We sampled a chicken for the drumming
The cover art you know
Is by Vincent Van Gogh
Never mind, I hear someone coming

Well sometimes I worry that I'm selling out
Do I really care about flying geese that much
But Soundscan don't lie
We're shooting for the sky
We've already got platinum in Dutch

Flying geese, flying geese
Flying geese, flying geese
Flying geese, flying geese, flying geese

TOP

If the Dodgers had stayed in Brooklyn
Maybe things would be different today
Maybe John F Kennedy would have been president
Till 1968
I don't know
I wasn't born yet
This is just speculation
If the Dodgers had stayed in Brooklyn
Maybe things would be different today

Maybe we'd spend our money differently
Like making sure some kid didn't have 45 other kids
In his third grade class
Maybe a car would get a 150 miles to a gallon of gas
If it even used gas
You'd need a job when you were hungry
*You got a ?meal? when you were strong*
You'd get an ear when you had something to say
Maybe everything would be different
If the Dodger's had never gone out to LA

If the Dodgers had stayed in Brooklyn
Maybe Watergate would be some obscure hotel
Tienamen square would be some square
Vietnam a vacation spot
For travel agencies to try and sell
Maybe Jesus would have come for the second time by now
Or the first time depending on how you feel about the stuff
Maybe everything would be different
If the Dodgers decided that Ebbets Field was enough

Well you might say everything would be exactly the same
You can't prove I'm right
And I guess neither can I
But if one kind heart leads to another kind heart
What do you think one greedy heart can do
 

If the Dodgers had stayed in Brooklyn
Maybe things would be different today
Maybe a man without pride and compassion would be unknown
Like a river that runs the wrong way
Look I don't know
This is just speculation
I wasn't born yet
I wasn't even on the map
But maybe everything would be different
If the Dodgers still had a B on the front of their cap
If the Dodger's had stayed in Brooklyn
Maybe things would be different today